Exchange 2016 PowerShell – It’s driving me crazy!!

I have an issue that ultimately, I know how to solve.  I don’t think my proposed solution should be that difficult, but I just can’t seem to get it to work.

I have a Shared Mailbox (SMB) that is fairly large (22 GB).   First, let me explain how it got that large.  Originally, this SMB was a Public Folder (PF).  During our migration to O365, we have decided that if possible, we are going to completely eliminate PFs.  With most of our PFs, they haven’t been touched in well over a year.  However, the owner of this one claims that they reference it all the time.  Statistics on the PF would argue otherwise, but he’s the owner, it’s his data, and we exist to try and accommodate him if technically possible. So…what do you do, in order get rid of the PF, but preserve the data and have it accessible to multiple individuals?  You transfer the data to an SMB, of course.

I did that, but it came at a price.

Underneath the root folder of the PF, a plethora of folders, sub-folders, and sub-sub-folders exist ad nauseam, created by the owner as they added folders over time (20 years).  In the PFs, the Default User permissions were set to Reviewer.  Naturally, it transferred all of the permissions that existed on the PF to the folders in the SMB’s Inbox.

Now comes the crux of the problem;  as the owner is going through the SMB’s Inbox folders, cleaning up empty folders or trying to delete folders he deems are no longer needed, it gives him an error stating that the folder can’t be deleted because he doesn’t have permissions or because the folder contains private items.  He’s an owner…I don’t understand why he would need more permissions than that.  To test a theory, we tried to delete one of the folders at the lowest level of the structure, with Owner permissions.  No luck…got the same error.  I changed the Default permissions to Owner, from Reviewer, and tried deleting the folder again.  Success!  Okay, so I just need to change the Default permissions in the entire Inbox folder structure to Owner and then we’ll be good to go.  Easy, right?  Wrong.

In order to fix the problem, I figured I would just grab the folder structure recursively, then pass that folder structure to the Set-MailboxFolderPermission cmdlet and set the Default User permissions to Owner using this command:

Get-MailboxFolder -Identity “SharedMailbox:\Inbox” -Recurse | Set-MailboxFolderPermission -User Default -AccessRights Owner

However, when I did that, I got the following error:

The specified mailbox “SharedMailbox” doesn’t exist.

In order to break down where the error was actually happening, I eliminated everything after the -recurse switch, so that all we’re doing is trying to enumerate the folder structure.    Same result.  Then I thought that maybe since SMBs are disabled by default, it was having an issue trying to impersonate a disabled account.  So I tried on my own personal mailbox.  Same result.  In researching this issue, I came across the same issue on another site:  Setting permissions on Inbox subfolders.  The solution, proposed by Will Szymkowski, Senior Solution Architect, is exactly what I was trying to do:

$User = “Default”
$Mailbox = “User1″
Get-MailboxFolder -Identity $Mailbox”:\Inbox” -Recurse | Add-MailboxFolderPermission -User $User -AccessRights Owner

So I’m not crazy and others have gotten it to work.  Granted, this solution was from 3 years ago and was for Exchange 2013.  Does anyone have any input on this issue?  Any idea what I’m doing wrong?  Feel free to leave comments below.  Thanks, everyone!

Exchange 2016 – Getting mailbox sizes from a list of users via PowerShell

Yesterday, I wanted to get a report of mailbox sizes in my organization.  Not a big deal you say?  Well, hold on there Hoss.

I wanted to get a report of mailbox sizes, but only for a specific list of people.  You would think this would be something very simple to do and would be highly documented already on the Internet.  Nope…not that I could find.  So I set out to figure it out myself.

The first part is very easy and simply requires you to read in the list of users.  Use this command to read your list into a variable:

$UserList = Get-Content ‘C:\Temp\Users.txt’

It took me a while but I finally figured out the second half of it.  Using a ForEach loop, I went and got the DisplayName, TotalItemSize, and ItemCount attributes for each mailbox and adding them to a new array variable.

$Values = ForEach ($User in $UserList) {(Get-Mailbox -Identity $User | Get-MailboxStatistics) | Select-Object DisplayName, TotalItemSize, ItemCount}

However, using a ForEach loop to run through each user causes some issues with outputting the results, hence the reason why I put the results in a variable.

Now I can sort it based on any one of the values:

$Values | Sort TotalItemSize -Descending | FT -AutoSize

This gives me a nicely formatted output that looks like this:

DisplayName                  TotalItemSize                                  ItemCount
———————                    ———————                                    —————–
Kramden, Ralph              30.39 GB (32,632,828,575 bytes)     110137
Norton, Ed                        25.66 GB (27,551,862,328 bytes)      21505
Arnez, Lucy                     12.29 GB (13,201,547,477 bytes)      17607
Arnez, Desi                      7.121 GB (7,646,022,187 bytes)        17743
Bag O’Doughnuts, Joe       5.097 GB (5,472,523,021 bytes)        4328
Schmuckatelli, Thomas    5.09 GB (5,465,226,591 bytes)          29959

Now you can put all three lines in a text editor, save it as MailboxSizes.ps1 in your Scripts directory and run it any time you want.  Just remember to update your input file first.

If you want to see your output in a window where you can sort and filter your results on the fly, change your last command to this:

$Values | Out-GridView

To export it to a .csv file, change it to this:

$Values | Export-CSV C:\Temp\MailboxSizes.csv -NoTypeInformation

Well, that’s it!  If you have anything to add or a way to make this 3-line script shorter and sweeter, feel free to chime in!

 

Exchange 2016 – Adding (and removing) users to Calendar BookInPolicy settings

It drives me absolutely crazy, that everyone seems to have a different scenario for requesting access to a Conference Room (Resource mailbox) for their users.  So I’ve just decided to put all of these Exchange PowerShell commands in one place.  These commands will work for Exchange 2016 and for Exchange Online (EXO).  I assume they work for Exchange 2019 as well, since that’s the version EXO is currently using.

First, we’re going to set up some variables.  This way, when you want to create, modify, or delete something, all you have to do is change the variable and then run the script.

Variables:

  • $CRName = “Your CR Name”
  • $DisplayName = “Full Display Name”
  • $Alias = “Alias of CR”
  • $OU = “Location of OU you want CR created in”
  • $ResourceDelegates = “User1, User2, User3, etc”
  • $BookInPolicyUsers = “User1, User2, User3, etc”
  • $User = “User1” (You can add multiple users as above, if desired)
  • $RoomList = “Name of your room list”
  • $RoomListMembers = “See Creating and Populating a Room List below”
  • $LegacyExchDN = “Legacy Exchange DN of the user you are removing”
  • $CalendarUsers = 

Creating a Conference Room:

New-Mailbox -Name $CRName -DisplayName $DisplayName -Alias $Alias -ModerationEnabled $false -ResourceCapacity 18 -OrganizationalUnit $OU -Room

Creating Multiple, Sequentially-named Conference Rooms:

$Increment = 1 .. 15

ForEach ($I in $Increment) {New-Mailbox -Name “$CRName$I” -DisplayName “$DisplayName$I” -Alias $Alias$I -ModerationEnabled $false -OrganizationalUnit $OU -Room | FT -AutoSize}

Once you create it, you want to set the Calendar Processing:

Set-CalendarProcessing -Identity $CRName -AutomateProcessing AutoAccept -AllRequestInPolicy $true -AllBookInPolicy $false -ResourceDelegates $ResourceDelegates -BookInPolicy $BookInPolicyUsers -ProcessExternalMeetingMessages $false

To create and populate a Room List:

  • Populate your $RoomListMembers variable:  $RoomListMembers = Get-Mailbox -ResultSize Unlimited -Filter {(RecipientTypeDetails -EQ “RoomMailbox”)} | Where {($_.DisplayName -like “Room*”)}
  • Create the room list:  New-DistributionGroup -Name $RoomList -OrganizationalUnit $OU -RoomList -Members $Members

Adding a CR to a Room List individually:

Add-DistributionGroupMember -Identity $RoomList -Member $CRName

Getting Room Lists:

Get-DistributionGroup -Filter {(RecipientTypeDetails -eq ‘RoomList’)}

Getting a list of rooms in the Room List:

Get-DistributionGroupMember -Identity $RoomList

Change the settings on a CR to show Organizer and Subject and Free/Busy:

Set-MailboxFolderPermission -Identity $CRName:\calendar -User Default -AccessRights LimitedDetails

Set-CalendarProcessing -Identity $CRName -AddOrganizerToSubject $true -DeleteComments $false -DeleteSubject $false

Setting the time zone on multiple Conference Room mailboxes:

Get-Mailbox -ResultSize unlimited -Filter{(RecipientTypeDetails -eq ‘RoomMailbox’)}

$users | %{Set-MailboxRegionalConfiguration $_.Identity -TimeZone “Pacific Standard Time”}

Getting a list of all users with the ability to Book the CR within Policy:

Get-CalendarProcessing $CRName | Select BookInPolicy -ExpandProperty BookInPolicy | Get-Mailbox | Select DisplayName | Sort DisplayName | FT -AutoSize

Adding a user to the list of users that can BookInPolicy:

Set-CalendarProcessing $CRName -BookInPolicy ((Get-CalendarProcessing -Identity $CRName).BookInPolicy += “$User”)

Removing a user from the list of users that can BookInPolicy:

Set-CalendarProcessing $CRName -BookInPolicy ((Get-CalendarProcessing -Identity $CRName).BookInPolicy -= “$LegacyExchDN”)

Setting a calendar to accept CR requests by anyone, but they all have to be approved by particular delegates, with the exception of one user that can book whenever they want:

Set-CalendarProcessing $CRName -AllBookInPolicy $false -AllRequestInPolicy $true -AutomateProcessing AutoUpdate -BookInPolicy $BookInPolicyUsers -ResourceDelegates $ResourceDelegates

Setting a calendar to deny CR requests from everyone, with the exception of particular admins that can book whenever they want:

Set-CalendarProcessing $CRName -AllBookInPolicy $false -AllRequestInPolicy $false -AutomateProcessing AutoAccept -BookInPolicy $BookInPolicyUsers -AllowConflicts $false

Setting permissions for multiple calendar folders for multiple users, in one command:

ForEach ($Cal in $RoomListMembers) { ForEach ($U in $User) {Set-MailboxFolderPermission $Cal”:\calendar” -User $User -AccessRights Editor}}

The Shared Mailbox that wouldn’t go away

This is a little bit of a technical write-up that most end users won’t be able to do anything about.  It will have to be their Exchange Admin / Active Directory (AD) Admin that takes care of this issue for them.

My boss’ boss IM’d me the other day and asked, “Please remove the auto-mapping of shared mailbox ‘XYZ’ from my Outlook profile.”  No problem, I thought.  I’ll just run this command:  Add-MailboxPermission -Identity <SharedMailbox> -User <UserLogon> -AccessRights FullAccess -AutoMapping $false and the auto-mapping will disappear from his mailbox, but he’ll still have access.  He’ll just have to manually add it to his profile when he needs to; no big deal.

Nope…that didn’t work.  He IM’d me a couple of hours later to let me know it was still there.  I asked him if he had closed and re-opened Outlook?  Check.  Did you reboot your workstation?  Check.  Was the mailbox manually mapped to the Outlook profile and if so, did you remove it?  Negative, it doesn’t exist. Did you create a new Outlook profile?  Check.  Did you try it from another workstation?  Check.

Okay.  We’re running in a mixed mode environment; Exchange 2010 (soon to be gotten rid of) / Exchange 2016 / Exchange Online (EXO).  Both the user account and the Shared Mailbox reside in EXO.  In the process of migrating users from on-premise to EXO, some of our Shared Mailboxes have lost their minds and the permissions have gotten corrupted.  So I removed all of his access to the mailbox, gave it time to sync with Azure and then re-added his access using the command above.  Problem solved, or so I thought.

Monday morning rolls around and he IM’s me again to let me know that the recalcitrant mailbox was still showing it’s ugly face in his mailbox.  Nothing I could find on the Internet was giving me any clues as to what was going on and they all pointed to the Outlook side of the fence, which I had initially thought was the issue.  However, trying a new profile on a different workstation pretty much ruled out that possibility.  I kept digging for 2 days and never found anything.

Finally, I approached my boss, the purveyor of all Exchange-related (and Houston Astros-related) knowledge.  I asked if he knew of any reason why this maddening mailbox continued to mock my very existence?  His answer?  “Because you’re weird.”  It’s true, I am.  I’m like a magnet.  I get all the weirdest problems that require all the strangest fixes.  “Beyond that,” he said, “you might want to take a look at the attributes of the AD account and look for a Delegate attribute.”

I went to the properties of the AD account, went to the Attribute Editor tab and Voila!  There was the answer to my problem.  As soon as I removed the user from the msExchDelegateListLink attribute and let the changes propagate across the Domain Controllers, the mailbox stopped showing up in the user’s Outlook profile.

AttributeEditor

That’s really all there is to it!  I hope this helps some other Exchange Admin somewhere, as this took me forever to figure out.

Peace out.

A lifetime of providence…

From the moment I entered this turbulent world, God has extended His hand of protection over my life.  The day of my birth, I was born under dangerous conditions.  My umbilical cord had wrapped itself around my neck three times so tightly, that upon my arrival, I ripped the placenta away from my mother’s uterus.  It was so bad, that she nearly bled to death during childbirth and required a transfusion, causing her to contract Hepatitis A in the process.  There were three miracles that day: 1) My wonderful mother didn’t die in childbirth with me.  If that had happened, I would have gone through life plagued with the guilt that I had been responsible for her death;  2) I didn’t die from lack of oxygen.  It wouldn’t have taken much, to completely cut off my oxygen supply;  3) Whatever lack of oxygen was caused by the cord being wrapped around my neck, didn’t result in any physical issues or obvious brain damage.  I say obvious, because my sisters, my kids, certain former co-workers, some friends and maybe even my wife would say I’m brain-damaged as a result of the birth process.  :0)

Fast forward to when I was 11 or 12 years old.  We had this HUGE round of wood sitting behind our garage in Tennessee that had been sitting out in the Tennessee rain for years absorbing water.  This piece of wood was about 3 feet across and 2 feet thick.  My dad would have been 38 or 39 at the time and was built like a brick house…he had forearms like Popeye.  Dad had tried to split this piece of wood the weekend before, using a splitting maul, 3 wedges, and a double-bladed ax.  Finally, because of knots and the elasticity of the wood caused by the rain, Dad was forced to give up.  Being the cocky little turd that I was at that age (okay, maybe there was some brain damage), I decided that I was going to show Dad how to split that round and he would be both proud and amazed, once I did.  So, selecting the double-bladed ax as my weapon of choice, I set about trying to split that round.  I grasped that ax firmly in both hands, brought it back over my head and brought it crashing down on that piece of wood with every ounce of strength I possessed!  With the buildup of water in those wood fibers, that round reacted as if it was a great big rubber eraser!  The ax hit the surface, bounced and came back at me with as much force as I had delivered. The blade hit the top of my head and all thoughts of splitting that particular piece of wood ceased immediately.  The first thought to go through my mind was, “Well, that was stupid.”  I started walking towards the house, rubbing the top of my head because I had given myself an immediate headache, completely oblivious to the fact that I had given myself an 8″ gash in the top of my head.  Once I looked at my hand and saw it covered in blood, I came unglued.  Fortunately for me, all that was required to fix my head at the time was a little surgical glue.

It’s now the summer after my Junior or Senior year in HS.  I was at Hood Park with my friend Patty and her twin brothers Joey and Eddie.  All the guys had swum out to the ski dock, which was outside the ropes for the swimming area.  Determined to prove to them and myself that I was also capable of making the swim out to the dock (and maybe trying to show off for Patty), I picked a spot above the swimming area that I thought was a good starting point and jumped in the river.  Stroking through the water as hard and as fast as I could so that I wouldn’t get carried downriver below the ski dock, I paused to look up and gauge my progress.  I panicked when I realized I was already 30 feet downriver of the ski dock and 100 feet from shore.  Not thinking rationally, I started swimming as hard as I could, determined to make it, panicked at what would happen if I didn’t.  I got weaker and weaker, with each stroke I took against the current of the Snake River.  Finally, I started yelling for help, telling the guys on the dock to throw me an inner-tube.  Fighting for my life, it made me mad and I couldn’t understand why all the guys were standing on the dock laughing as I pled for help.  Finally, as I was losing strength and starting to slip under the water, one of the guys on the dock realized I was serious and threw an inner-tube in the water, swam to me, pulled me up on the tube and towed me to shore.  To this day, 37-38 year later, I still don’t know who that guy was.  I also found out that everyone was laughing because they all thought I was joking.

It was a dark and stormy night in 1985.  I was 21 and stationed in Germany with the U.S. Army.  I was driving a 1974 Volkswagen Beetle and a group of us were going to an REO Speedwagon concert in Heidelberg, Germany.  Until this night, I never wore my seatbelt…ever.  This night, however, I looked at the torrential rain coming down and saw how dark the night was and I said, “You know, I think tonight would be a good night to wear my seatbelt because something about tonight is making me very uncomfortable.” About a month earlier, my parents and younger sister had come to Germany and we spent two weeks traveling through Europe together in the Beetle and they went traveled for another two weeks without me…6,000 miles in a month.  Because I wanted to be prepared, I had purchased a second spare tire. In a Volkswagen Beetle, the trunk is in front, with the spare tire standing up behind the bumper.  I took the second one and laid it down flat, jamming it between the firewall and the back of the spare tire in the tire well.  This was probably my saving grace because it acted like a big rubber bumper.  As we were coming into Heidelberg off the Autobahn, I missed the warning signs that the Autobahn was ending at a stoplight, just beyond the overpass behind which the stoplight was hiding.  The end result was that I wound up hydroplaning into the back of a brand-new Mercedes that was sitting at a dead stop…at 55+ mph.  I put his trunk in his back seat and broke his back axle.  The frame on my car was bent so badly from front to back, that my front and back license plates were both hanging an inch off the ground.  My friend Mike who was riding with me (who was 6’6″) left two impressions several inches deep in the glove box, where his knees hit.  Had it not been for my seatbelt that night, I would have been ejected through the windshield into the car that I hit.  As it was, I still had a headache 4 days later, from the concussion I received from hitting the windshield.

Six months later while still in Germany, my roommate and I each returned from the Class 6 store with the ingredients for disaster.  I had a six-pack of Coke and he had a half-gallon of rum.  Add to that, we both started talking about our fathers.  Needless to say, one drink led to another and 2 hours later, we had killed the entire half-gallon of rum.  I don’t remember the rest of the night.  I had my first and only alcohol-induced blackout.  Ten-1/2 hours later, I finally woke up.  I have NO idea what my blood alcohol content (BAC) was when I woke up.  However, this BAC calculator put it at somewhere between .30 and .35.  I called my sergeant and let her know I would be late.  Thankfully, I had expelled a large portion of the night’s entertainment all over the floor at least 3 times, which was God saving me from dying from alcohol poisoning.  God also saved me from aspirating on my vomit that night as well.  Yuck!  What a way to go that would have been!  I got everything cleaned up, took a shower and finally showed up to work @ 0930.  I laid on the loading dock until noon, before the room would stop spinning.  NOT my greatest moment.  I went cold turkey and didn’t have another drink for something like 5 years.

That same night, I thought a former roommate of mine in the barracks had the keys to my room.  He was a good ole boy from Georgia that’d just as soon spit in your eye and kick your ass, as talk to you.  I used to walk on the other side of the hallway, any time we were in the same area.  Due to my state of inebriation that night, not only did I confront him, I almost threw him out of the 3rd-floor window of the barracks.  I would have succeeded, had it not been for the intervention of his friends.  It would have been almost 4 floors to the concrete steps below.  He’d have died and I’d have spent the rest of my life in Ft. Leavenworth, Kansas.

During the summer of 1987, I was riding my ten-speed through a parking lot and trying to merge into traffic on George Washington Way (one of the main roads at home), at the peak of rush hour – about 5:00 p.m.  I was shooting for a gap in traffic (I was in really good shape at the time) and was moving at about 18-25 miles an hour.  Unfortunately for me, I didn’t see the concrete curbing curving out into the parking lot from the entrance.  I hit the curbing at full speed.  My tire exploded, I did a flip and a half, coming down on my hands.  Fortunately for me, I was wearing a riding jersey and biking gloves at the time, so when I came down on my hands, I tucked and rolled right out into the traffic lane and came up running.  The motorist I had been trying to beat to the gap in traffic had watched the whole thing unfold and slowed down accordingly.  Otherwise, he’d have run over my little, pointy head.  People came running from all over the parking lot because the explosion of my tire was so loud, they were sure it was a real explosion.  I walked over, picked up my bike and carried it to the bike shop about 500 yards away.  The front rim had a 90-degree corner in it from hitting the concrete.  To this day, I have no idea how I didn’t hit my head.

In December of 1991, I sat on the couch in my living room, with a gun in my mouth.  From October of 1987 to December of 1991, I had gone through 3 serious relationships, all of which involved small children under the age of 3 and my girlfriends cheating on me.  The middle relationship involved the birth of a child that I was led to believe was mine, for approximately 18 months after he was born.  Being a Daddy was the only thing I’d ever really known that I wanted to do.  I was the best Daddy you could imagine; until the DNA results came back proving he wasn’t mine.  After that, I wasn’t allowed to be Daddy anymore.  I’d had it.  I’d had enough pain and rejection by that time.  My Dad had come by to talk to me and even though I was heart-broken, he said, “Maybe this is for the best.” That wasn’t what I wanted to hear.  I sat there on the couch a couple days later, gun in my hand, tears streaming down my face and I cried out, “God!  I can’t do this anymore!  I don’t want to do this anymore!  I need to know that you’re there and that you care! Otherwise, this all ends tonight.”  At that moment, as clear as I’ve heard the voices of my children, I heard God say to me, “Jim, I love you and I will never leave you.  Please put the gun away.”  At that moment, a peace and calm I had never known washed over me and I knew I was sitting in God’s presence and that everything was going to be alright.  Four months later, I met the woman I’ve been married to for the last 25 years.

It was a bright sunny day in June of 1994, my wife was in the passenger seat and my six-month-old daughter was strapped in the back seat facing backward. We were about a mile from my Father-in-law’s house, driving down the highway.  I was doing between 60-65, going with the flow of traffic.  There were 12-15 people going the same direction in the two lanes in front of and behind me.  All of sudden, this madman that should have stopped before making a left-hand turn across traffic, decided to turn right in front of all of us.  People in front of us slammed on their brakes, people behind us bailed out to the left, people next to us bailed out to the right, people in front of us sped up.  We had nowhere to go.  I slammed on the brakes and hit the guy broadside in a 1992 Geo Storm at 55mph!  My face felt like road rash from the airbag, my wife suffered a shoulder injury, but my daughter sustained no injuries.  The car was a total loss and we all walked away from it.

I’m thankful for God’s providence in my life.  There have been other minor incidents here and there, but nothing life-threatening that I can think of.  But I’ve been able to see the hand of God in other areas of my life as well; Always having enough money to cover the bills when times were tough, putting good people in my life when I needed it most, guiding the lives of my children and protecting them, blessing most things that I attempted in my life, helping my wife and me through 25 years of marriage, and sending us our first grandson.

Truly, I am blessed beyond measure.

An interesting concept – Slidenjoy

I recently ran across a product called a Slidenjoy (https://www.getyourslide.com/), made by a company in Belgium.  It looks like a great product, but how do you really know?  I would really like to try one, but $895.06 USD is a lot of money to spend on an unknown product, with no defined track record.  For all I know, what’s listed on their web page may be pictures of a quality mock-up, but the real product may be made out of plastic and ship from China.

We have been looking at buying a house recently and it is amazing how different and better a good photographer can make your product look.  I have ordered products off the Internet before, but they are usually from reputable companies that everyone has heard of, or a 3rd party company like Amazon that is going to protect their consumers.

As an example, I recently purchased a new high-powered lens for my wife’s DSLR camera, in order to take some good nature pictures.  I knew better, but I bought it from an online website that I’d never used before, that is advertised on TV to “blow your mind.”  Unfortunately, the lens didn’t live up to the hype and I only had 10 days to test it, before shipping it back to them and requesting my money back.  Well, I got busy with life and work and the 10 days were gone before I knew it and I can’t send the product back.  It wasn’t HUGELY expensive (it was under $200), but it was still more than I would have wanted to pay to learn a lesson about a product that didn’t work as advertised.

So I sent the company an e-mail and am offering to do some product testing for them and then sing their praises if it lives up to the hype.  To this point, they haven’t responded, but I will let you all know if they do.  Until I hear from them, is there anyone out there that already has one of their products?  If so, how do you like it?

Vow of Silence…

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a monk and take a vow of silence?  I’ve often thought it would be an interesting social experiment.  It is something I have thought a lot about lately and would like to try, but I don’t know how I would be able to function in my daily life.

I’m sure that at least one of my co-workers (Sheldon) would think it was a great idea, but if a vow of silence meant not being able to laugh out loud, I’d never make it…because a couple of my co-workers are complete clowns (Sheldon and Paul).  I also don’t know how I’d be able to do my job.  I’m always having to talk to our employees on the phone or troubleshoot an issue with my co-workers and give feedback to my boss and CIO.  Additionally, we’re always meeting with contractors and trying to getting pricing or something.

I think my children would benefit from me not talking as well.  I have a bad habit of letting them draw me into their arguments and I come down to their level.  I try and reason with them, then tell them and show them why their argument isn’t reasonable and why I’m not going to give in to their arguments.  It just escalates into this long, drawn out, overly loud conversation where everyone gets mad.  I should just learn to tell them what’s going to happen and why and then just walk away.

I could definitely go without talking, but I would have to go get a small whiteboard to carry around with me, so that I could write down responses to people and I’d have to go take a sign language class.  I’ve always wanted an excuse to learn sign language.  Sign language is so…I don’t know…beautiful to watch.  It’s almost like watching a ballet.  It’s just a continuous barrage of fluid motion that is so enjoyable to watch.  Given the choice to go without my hearing, sight or speech, I would definitely choose to give up my ability to talk.

What do you think?  Discuss.

What do you want to do in life?

So Wednesday night, I was at church hanging out with my friend, Pastor Ryan Smith and the Club 68 boys.  Ryan was talking to them and asking them, “What do you want to do in life?  Do you want to be an astronaut, do you want to be a pastor, do you want to be a father, do you want to be a teacher…what do you want to be?”

It was at that moment, that I had an epiphany.  I realized that truly the only thing I had ever wanted to be, since I was 17 years old, was to be a father.  And then realized that even though that was the ONLY thing I had ever wanted to be…I had failed miserably.

Ryan, being the true friend that he is, looked at me and said, “Well, that may be true, but there is only one place to go from there and that’s up.”

Well, here’s to the next 15 years.  Let’s hope in that time God helps me to become a smarter, wiser and more compassionate father!!

Happy Feet Two…

So we went to see Happy Feet Two tonight.  Of course, since it was Happy Feet, there was lots of singing and dancing to very good music.  I thought it was better than the original Happy Feet and better than the Puss in Boots movie that we went to see last week.

I thought it was a good movie with more than one good message. 
     –  The first message was one of family.  There was a good message of how family is always there for you, during the good times and the bad times an how family always believes in you.
     –  The second message was one of belief in yourself and never giving up.
     –  The last message was one of environmental responsibility.  While the creators definitely learned that they didn’t need to be so heavy-handed with the environmental message, it was still there…only much better.

There was a little bit of potty humor and some innuendo, but nothing that would keep me from suggesting that a family should go see it.  It was a very funny, very fun movie to watch.  A solid “A” rating.

Great Truths!

(25) Great Truths Plus possibly the 5 best sentences you’ll ever read:

GREAT TRUTHS
1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a congress.
— John Adams

2. If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
— Mark Twain

3. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself.
— Mark Twain

4. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
— Winston Churchill

5. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
— George Bernard Shaw

6. A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
— G. Gordon Liddy

7. Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
— James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)

8. Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
— Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University

9. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
— P.J. O’Rourke, Civil Libertarian

10. Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
— Frederic Bastiat, French economist (1801-1850)

11. Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
— Ronald Reagan (1986)

12. I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
— Will Rogers

13. If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free!
— P.J. O’Rourke

14. In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.
— Voltaire (1764)

15. Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn’t mean politics won’t take an interest in you!
— Pericles (430 B.C.)

16. No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
— Mark Twain (1866)

17. Talk is cheap…except when Congress does it.
— Anonymous

18. The government is like a baby’s alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.
— Ronald Reagan

19. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
— Winston Churchill

20. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
— Mark Twain

21. The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
— Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)

22. There is no distinctly Native American criminal class…save Congress.
— Mark Twain

23. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.
— Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995)

24. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
— Thomas Jefferson

25. We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
— Aesop

FIVE BEST SENTENCES

1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.

2. What one person receives without working for…another person must work for without receiving.

3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.

5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work, because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work, because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation!